Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
He had one of those small greek statue penises
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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