Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
