Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
