Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
