THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Randomize
