I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
