I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
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