i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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