It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
