My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
