My nipple is on Facebook.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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