And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
