Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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