No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My ATM looks so different sober.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
