I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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