question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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