I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
