You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
