It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
