I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
