The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
