But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
