giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
