Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
