When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
