as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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