your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
