she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
why do cheetos always look like penises
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Randomize
