My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize