New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I am one with the molecules
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
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