There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
