i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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