Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
