do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
