got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star