I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!