cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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