Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
