let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
