3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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