maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
