i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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