the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
