i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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