Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I DEMAND FORESKIN
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
