I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
These tits shall not be calmed
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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