I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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