I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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