giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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