I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize