She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
