Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize
