dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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