I swear she didn't look like that last week.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
