For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
