More tranny stories later!
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
