pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
