Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
