Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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